Sunday, July 12, 2009

I, Endstation Bouncer.

"Would You Be Willing To Take A Bullet For Geoff Kershner?"

Ah, Hello! You've caught me in mid-reverie. Let me explain. I was just reflecting on my early days, and the rigorous interview process through which I had to pass to garner my present association with Endstation Theatre. I am J. David Settle, Endstation Bouncer (the 'J' stands for Jenius). This question was the first broached by the lovely Ms. Krista Franco during that interview. To that question, I had 3 immediate simaltaneous responses. My sense of self-preservation told me, "Jeff who?"; my professional sense told me, "With what this gig pays, you'd be a fool not to!"; & what I actually said was, "Just one?".
Yes, you may have seen me as Major Sheldon (yes, that character had a first name) Burnett in "The Bluest Water". [A part I got a lock on when Ms. Franco asked her 2nd question, "Can you be loud, coarse, and confrontational?". Most will tell you, I am rarely anything but loud, coarse, and confrontational.] And you may have seen me working on the Running Crew for various of the other shows that Endstation has mounted, but first and foremost, I am the Endstation Bouncer. I asked to contribute to this blogspot, to answer a few questions I am often asked, and to give my 'perspective' on the fine work done by Endstation and some of it's company, talent and tech. Permission thus granted, so I shall. My perspective...

-This Shakespeare cat sure talks funny. [What, is he from the Moon, or some fantasy land like OZ, Wonderland, or France or something?]

-Saturday wine tastings + Smokin'hot Red Hat Society broads + shirtless male players = 'recipe for disaster' .... [It's my job to anticipate these things.]

-I sure hope Sweet Briar Campus Security knows what "Midsummer Nights Dream" is about, as I observe the comely Hermia run across a field, screaming with a torn blouse. ... [It's my job to anticipate these things.]

-I've seen just about enough of an un-named "W.K." in his underwear for one summer.

-Another un-named "B.C." has been near impossible to work with, for an inflated ego, since an 'Unsung Hero' blogspot ran a few weeks ago. [Thanks alot, Natalie.]

-"Midsummer ND" has lots of Fairies in it; this statement would hold true if the same director used the same cast in a production of "Macbeth" or "Hamlet" (or Reservoir Dogs).

-A really funny joke to play, is to watch and point at me while I break my back hauling a platform, or rock, or bathtub into position. [This statement is not true at all.]

-Having a headset is alot of fun. Talking about the stuff going on on-stage, makes me feel like one of those old guys in the balcony of 'The Muppet Show'.

-I know who stole my Gatorade out of the little 'fridge in the kitchen. Don't think I'll just let that go.

-"Lose Pounds and Inches with the Endstation Fitness Regimen! (Simply, work crew, out-of-doors, under the Sun, in a Jet Black Endstation T-shirt!)"

-Melissa P. is a great SM, and funny; her joke about the BRSTF standing for "Baptism by Fire" always makes me laugh

-If you want to get on Paul's nerves, call him 'Mr. Punctuality'.

-Now closed, I can reveal.."Where is 'The Bluest Water'?". Airplane toilets.

-That ain't tobacco smoke I smell at that Midsummer Nights Dream performance!!!

-I could not feel safer, if the Ess-were-ever-to-'hit the fan', than I do with my back-up team of Bouncers, Rebekah and Dana. [Those dames scare the Bejeezus out of ME!]

-Generally quiet and unassuming, the most powerful man at Endstation is Dan; he designs the lights and can make the SUN rise and set at his COMMAND!!

-"My Brother's Knife"? Yes, bad-ass, Walter; but the bit with the half-naked Indian and half-naked Cop reminds me of my days bouncing for The Village People

-The true 'Unsung Heroes' of an BRSTF season? Jason Fails', the staff of Bull Branch, and whoever cleans up the S.B. boathouse after you people.

Ah, I see my word count is almost up, and I feel I have but just started to give you any insight into what goes on in the world of Theatrical Securities. Perhaps I will have the oppurtunity to addendum with another blogspot, sometime later in the summer.Any chance, my Artistic Director and closest friend...Jeff?

J David Settle, Endstation Bouncer.

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